Christmas

So Christmas is nearly upon us. I bloody love Christmas me. It's the only time of year where you aren't made to feel guilty for sitting on your settee all day eating turkey sandwiches whilst watching Only Fools And Horses and the Steptoe film.

I know it is probably uncommon for people to do this any other time of the year, but swap the word 'turkey' with 'chicken mayonaise' and that is pretty much what I have been doing all year round for the last two years. It's been bloody magnificent. Don't ever accept anyone's story about being unemployed and depressed about it. Unemployment ranks up there with rock star and cobbler in the job stakes.

I know what you are thinking. How is cobbler a great job? Well, just think about your favourite pair of shoes. You bloody love them, don't you? Heel drops off. Disaster. But oh no. Cobbler steps in. Repairs the shoes. Think of the happiness cobbler has created. Brilliant job.