That Time Capsule Blog Thing
I never did do a blog for that thing last week where they wanted everyone to do a diary of their day for future generations to read. Oh dear, our sad, never mind.
If we had had our heads screwed on we would have messed with the minds of the people of the future. We could have bloody conned them, we could. We could have, get this, get this, made outrageous stuff up that we'd done that day, and the next generations would have thought we were living it up.
For instance, my entry would have been:
I got up today at 5am. I had to get the kids ready for school. We are the first stop for the headmaster, who drives a massive bus and picks all 1000 of his students up. I went back to bed and watched GMTV, a fascinating breakfast show presented by the Prime Minister. He enjoys a bit of banter with the blonde weather girls, who he hand picks off the street and forces to work with him.
Anyway, off to work at 8:30am. I work as a footballer. God, it is hard making a living on these measly £50,000 a week wages. I'm not sure, but I think butchers earn over £2,000,000 a week. My local butcher's sausages are shit. I tell him though. I pay his wages when I buy my ticket to watch him work every Saturday, so it is my right to tell him what I think. Time he got some tomato sausages in, in my very honest opinion.
Home from football training at midday. God, I didn't have a minute to myself today. I didn't even get chance to snort cocaine with my teammates today. The manager, the cheeky git, made me practice free kicks and play some five-a-side.
Anyway, I have an ejoyable afternoon ahead of me. What with the entire population of Poland now in Britain, I have two maids so I get one to make me continuous cups of coffee and one flicks between Paramount Comedy, Sky Sports News and Channel 4 for me.
The kids are home from school at 4pm. The nextdoor neighbour brought them home on horseback. Good chap, good chap, works in the umbrella hat industry. Big business nowadays they are. All the cool dudes wear them in rainy conditions.
Anyway, off to bed at 6pm for my recommended 11 hours a day sleep.
Good night, hope this helps you all know what it was like to live back in 2006.
I could have taken my occupation as timewaster into centuries to come.
If we had had our heads screwed on we would have messed with the minds of the people of the future. We could have bloody conned them, we could. We could have, get this, get this, made outrageous stuff up that we'd done that day, and the next generations would have thought we were living it up.
For instance, my entry would have been:
I got up today at 5am. I had to get the kids ready for school. We are the first stop for the headmaster, who drives a massive bus and picks all 1000 of his students up. I went back to bed and watched GMTV, a fascinating breakfast show presented by the Prime Minister. He enjoys a bit of banter with the blonde weather girls, who he hand picks off the street and forces to work with him.
Anyway, off to work at 8:30am. I work as a footballer. God, it is hard making a living on these measly £50,000 a week wages. I'm not sure, but I think butchers earn over £2,000,000 a week. My local butcher's sausages are shit. I tell him though. I pay his wages when I buy my ticket to watch him work every Saturday, so it is my right to tell him what I think. Time he got some tomato sausages in, in my very honest opinion.
Home from football training at midday. God, I didn't have a minute to myself today. I didn't even get chance to snort cocaine with my teammates today. The manager, the cheeky git, made me practice free kicks and play some five-a-side.
Anyway, I have an ejoyable afternoon ahead of me. What with the entire population of Poland now in Britain, I have two maids so I get one to make me continuous cups of coffee and one flicks between Paramount Comedy, Sky Sports News and Channel 4 for me.
The kids are home from school at 4pm. The nextdoor neighbour brought them home on horseback. Good chap, good chap, works in the umbrella hat industry. Big business nowadays they are. All the cool dudes wear them in rainy conditions.
Anyway, off to bed at 6pm for my recommended 11 hours a day sleep.
Good night, hope this helps you all know what it was like to live back in 2006.
I could have taken my occupation as timewaster into centuries to come.
posted by Rodney at 7:08 PM
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